Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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