We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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