Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
