i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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