he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize
