she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
