he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
