bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
