oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
