is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
