Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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