So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
