The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
