If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
