we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
