He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
