he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
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