I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize