Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
