Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
