She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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