so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Randomize
