He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
