i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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