chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
