Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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