Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
