Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
