Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Randomize
