If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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