The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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