we have officially lost it.
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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