dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
