i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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