There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
All the doctor said was why
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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