I've blown a few things in my day
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
