I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
