R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
