1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
