im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
