i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
