pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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