True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
