In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
