I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Randomize
