you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
