We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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