HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize