He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize