it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
My bed smells like the plague
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize