After last night, I could never be a politician.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Come on in and take your pants off
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