I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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