some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
