Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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