Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i will never coherently bang her
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
