is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize