a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I just blew my weed a kiss
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
