guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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