just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
