the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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