Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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