and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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